I Feel Your Pain - Part 6

When losing weight, friends matter.

The weeks have been counting down to the date for the 24 Hours of Moab mountain bike endurance race, and I’m glad to say so has my weight. I’m just a couple pounds shy of my goal to lose 10 pounds before race day. I’ve not been perfect in my efforts, but one thing’s for certain – it’s been easier because of those who have supported me along the way.

Helping relationships are extremely important to anyone desiring to make changes. We all go through various stages as we make changes in our lives, from just thinking about it to actually taking action. At each step along the way, there is probably nothing more vital than having aid from others. My wife has been a tremendous support by making great tasting high-fiber meals, and coming up with creative ways for us to increase physical activity beyond my dedicated workouts. She has buoyed me up when the scale didn’t want to budge. Friends and co-workers have also helped. Many have commented on my blogs and given me encouragement. Just realizing others know what I am attempting, and that they are watching, gives me motivation beyond myself to stay the course. Not only can others assist you, but they also become accountability partners in your endeavor.

I hope some of you have been taking action to lose weight with me the last several weeks, and that you’ve benefited from helping relationships just as I have. If you’ve been going it alone, then do all you can to bring others who care about you into the effort. Let them know you need help, tell them your plan and how they can best help you to achieve your goal. Then don’t be afraid to lean on them when you need to. But be careful whom you choose to rely on. A 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that if you have a close friend who gains weight, your chances of gaining go up by 57%. On the other hand, the same effect is true when a friend loses weight. So be supportive of friends who are also trying to lose, and together you’ll both be more successful.

Changing habits is tough, whether you have 10 pounds or 100 to lose, but it’s certainly a lot easier if you don’t try to do it solo.


The author submits this blog posting as a health educator and not in any other capacity. You should seek the advice of your physician regarding a personal health condition or before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

Be Assertive!

How often have you started a new diet only to be derailed by well-meaning family or friends: your mother arrives at your door with your favorite homemade brownies, or your office buddies give you a surprise birthday party at your favorite all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant? Even before these situations happen, you need to plan for them. If you desire ideal weight and good health, let your family and friends know your goals and then be assertive about keeping yourself on track.

To be non-assertive is to say, “Others matter, and I don’t.” On the other hand, if you are aggressive, the message is “I matter, and others don’t.” You need to find the place in between the two extremes. Being assertive states, “I am equal to others and we all matter the same.” Give assertiveness a try. Tell you mother that you love her brownies so much you can’t just eat one, and it would be more helpful for your weight loss goals if she could make you a high-fiber dessert like baked apples. Explain to your office mates that all-you-can-eat establishments are too tempting at this time and suggest a restaurant where the menu better fits your weight loss plan. It may take a bit of practice, but its well worth the effort. Assertiveness is probably one of the most important tools you will need to succeed.

During the holidays, don’t hesitate to assert your rights to have fiber foods available at the family gatherings, even if it means you bring the veggie platter or salad. Look at it as an opportunity to share your healthy new way of living with those you love. Everyone will benefit. When you find yourself at a restaurant with no menu items that fit into your weight loss goals, don’t be afraid to explain to your waiter exactly what you need. Ask for a steamed side of whatever fresh veggies are available in the kitchen. Or ask that your entree be broiled instead of fried. Odds are, the chef will be glad to break out of the same old menu routine and will welcome the opportunity to be creative. You will be a breath of fresh air!

Try on assertiveness for size, and wear it often. It will look good on you.


The author submits this blog posting as a health educator and not in any other capacity. You should seek the advice of your physician regarding a personal health condition or before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.